What keeps you safe?

Every time news of a woman gone missing comes up, my mother and sister never miss the opportunity to point out the importance of locking up carefully at night, never using a cab service alone, and of course, getting home well ahead of the setting sun. I agree with all of the above. But is that enough to keep us safe?

Yes, I feel safe when I’m home or out with my husband, but what happens when I do have to travel alone or use a public transport system in a new city? What keeps me safe there?

I love every city I have visited in India. Everywhere I’ve been, I’ve encountered helpful strangers and have rarely come across rude and outright obnoxious people. But when you read about a crime against a woman, you always wonder where all those helpful strangers were in her story. Did her plight make people look the other way? Was there something utterly malicious and ‘run like hell’ about the villains in her story? Or was it a simple lack of chivalry?

Perhaps chivalry is not the right word. I mean, we as women have a duty to our own kind as well! So maybe the word I’m looking for is graciousness. Do we take the time to make sure our colleague is not left alone in a cab when she gets home late at night, especially if she lives alone? If a woman is travelling alone, do we have a word with her to make sure she is opting for the safest source of transport from the train station or airport? Or if, barring all that, something doesn’t seem right, do we make note of a vehicle number and report it?

I haven’t done any of the above. But it is a stab through the heart to hear of every instance when a woman has been traumatised. And when I think about it, I realise that picking up the newspaper and reading about death sentences for the miscreants is not as fulfilling as it should be. The need to be part of a culture that would be gallant and gracious towards women is much more compelling than that.